Ever after

I am the greatest fool of all time. The illusions amaze me and
I get so lost.

But see, I love it so. The immensity is so over bearing that sometimes
I can’t speak. The way it creeps up on you, it’s like you had no idea
that it was what you were searching for.

I’m without a foundation so I’m forever finding new branches that
somehow connect with my roots. In one-way or another, it’s this life
or the other. I’m floating around in the ocean while the waves take me.
The resistance was up and now it’s meek. The current pushes me; rough
at times- I never drown.  The waters are constantly tested. But the tests
are never real, just lessons I’ve made up. To understand the way this 

universe never stops.

It’s such a craze that I can never crave because when I do; it’s never
fulfilled. But see, I’m so seduced by the world that I can’t help but get
lost in the rhythms. My thoughts escape me and it’s my only sanity; to be
lost and yet to be so sure of my moments. The soil is fertile today so I
plant my seed and watch it grow.

So I find myself once more. And it’s all forgotten. The mystery I just
experienced becomes a past life and I’ve stopped wandering. Life becomes
logical, black and white, grey at times but I’m colorblind. And again, I’m
looking for something hidden so that I can experience it once more.
My memory is gone and each time is like never before. 

Connection

Stuck are the moments that we can never get back. 

We replay conversations, to value the depth of those 

words. The looks that were made were like unspoken 

agreements. They are forever stuck in time. I remember 

it all and I feel different. But yesterday isn’t today. 

But it was yesterday that I could understand your touch 

because we were there and alive. Who we were didn’t 

matter. It was like soulful moments that were splattered, 

coloring me. It all happened in rhythms.

Yesterday is gone now and I'll never forget. It feels like
I was teleported back to that mind state. That memory 

is in my mind. No time to rewind so I got to press play. 

Today is a new time.

Part III

The plot changes unexpectedly. What we originally thought 
was going to happen, our focus, it all changes. Because along 
the way, we probably were distracted by one thing or another, 
and we stopped looking so closely at the details. It was just 
something that took a moment and by coincidence. It helped 
evade us from the mind’s prison where it keeps us calculating 
scenarios.

But when no one’s watching, we forget it all. We forget the 
mindsets that we’ve so strongly built up. We let down the 
barriers that prevent us from falling. The lines blur a little and 
vision out of focus. But the intentions are deeper and the 
feelings are stronger. Clearer.

Looking so intensely into a situation and examining it, the less 
we’re able to see.

Yet we allow ourselves to get lost every now and then. We 
can’t help it.. the events are synchronized and we trust the flow 
in that moment. Nothing holds us back and the escape never 
seemed this appealing. What’s this phenomenon? What is making 
this be too easy? The human experience is so complex and at the 
same time so beautiful. We’re living in a world of endless patterns, 
which are highlighted by people who know how to throw in the 
color. Others are colorblind and sink into black and white views 
of life. The afterlife is waiting to thrust out the impressions lost in 
your mind, and one will find the colors that were lost.

Blank pages are filled. Colors submerge. My color is the same as 
yours. The colors are all combinations of others, extensions of our 
former selves. In different versions of the storyline, we meet again 
and again – in different paths that intertwine in the same lifetime.

The acquaintance felt like more. The characters portrayed depth in 
a way that doesn’t just pass you by. You notice hints of the greater 
unraveling but the unknowing leaves you anxious. And this is the 
time to be courageous. Intrigued by what’s to come.

The impetus lies in the preface.

Part II

Investigative research, let’s call it that. To study each character, and to 
understand how it influences the story – is to be empathetic to their lives. 
No sleep. 

I’m in too deep. 

I’m lost in their world because I’ve allowed it in my mind. I become 
curious to understand why the characters are here, in my life. What’s 
their purpose? How does it tie into mine? Their purpose starts to outline 
mine as I start to understand them. 

Everything is relative, let’s not forget that. But we act like we’re so 
unattached. Mentally we’re reflecting each other but we don’t want it 
known… Yet, telepathically, we keep running into each other. 

Paths cross – again and again. You start to ask yourself, is it me or 
am I thinking it to be? So disillusioned that I can’t tell the difference 
anymore. I’ve studied every move so closely that I interpret them differently 
now from when I once did; when it was all still a mystery to me.

I’m just curious to see the outcomes. Not everything turns out the way 
we think it will. Although we always have our idealistic scenarios but we 
try to hard to interpret. We see the characters play the parts. But they are 
just parts, and they’re stuck in them too. They’re stuck and so are we. The 
creation lost the creator in the conjuring. 

Part I

Each person you meet, if you really plan to know them, starts to
grow into your landscape of the world. Their influences are shown in
the picture that’s being painted. Everything simultaneous. It’s radiant.

Is it a picture being painted with an idea in mind? Or is it growing without
a context? Each person that walks into the story plays a role. An obscure
role in fact. Whose impacts don’t immediately show so their roles are
separate from the immediate story… yet they are attached to it. Possibly,
their chapter begins much later and right now they are just in a preface.

But you see your mind expanding the picture, letting all the characters play
their parts in your grand masterpiece. You allow them into your mind and
allow the context to shape around the characters. It narrows. Your picture
seems specified and your vision is tunneled. It then becomes an interplay
of different equations between the characters of the chapter and yourself.
The outcomes are infinite, always calculating the different scenarios of the
equations that appear. Within the context, it’s a calculated guess on which
actions will birth into existence. A creator of scenarios, the creation should
never influence the creator.

Galvanized

Pocketed eye work, it’s all understood. I turn away cause 

my eyes are saying it all. I've already got it wrapped and I 

know by the way you look at me. I see the reflections. I see 

what I was seeking. It ended up seeking me.

My brain is logic based, foundations erased, the mystic craze, 

controls every cell that births from that center. So every morning 

I wake up thinking about the night before. Never being able to

 brush off the feeling, it was real, this spinning, this trance.

See the mystery is already solved but the pieces are scattered. 

I could end the game now but I’m wasting time. I’m in love 

with the chase. I’ll turn the other direction every time, saving 

face, craving the maze.

My minds made up, my minds made up of yours and of mine. 

Collectively we chose to run out of time. Anticipation in the 

moments; the intensity shows in the flash of the eyes. Galvanized 

in the chaos. So the story gets meaner, and the twists get deeper.

The experience is a keeper.